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He is Thinking of Now, She is Thinking of Forever
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(Dating and your Rights)Cindy is a college freshman with a very promising future. She has found the man of her dreams, Eric, the captain of the basketball varsity team. He has real good looks that would steal any girl's heart, and he has asked Cindy to go out on a date. After a while, Cindy discovered that Eric has a bit of a control problem every time they would go out on a date. He can't help himself from being physical. But Cindy is a conservative woman with a good upbringing and she could help Eric. And she has to, for her own good, too.
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Everyday, people are standing up and demanding their rights. Yet one important area of life - dating - is being undermined, gnawed away by ridicule, persuasion and pressure.
What Rights do you have in Dating?
You have the right to be an individual.Just because friends, showbiz personalities, newspapers, and TV seem to send the message that "everyone else is doing it", doesn' t make their choices good for you. You have a right to find happiness without compromising your moral standards.
You have the right to have your values respected. If someone asked for your brand-new car to "prove your love", you would laugh at his selfish demand. Yet many young people fall for that approach when it comes to sex. You have the right to demand that your values be treated as just that - valuable. If a date is interested in you for sex only, what kind of person is he or she?
You have the right to care for your body. Right now venereal disease is an epidemic and so is abortion, not only among people of low moral character, but also among others whom you may not suspect. You have the right to keep yourself free from possible disease and possible future problems by saying "NO" to a date who tries to pressure you into premarital sex.
You have the right to care for your reputation. You can (and should) refuse degrading experiences on a date. You also have the right to choose a reputation that not only makes you proud of your own actions, but also in an example to others.
You have the right to remain free from fear. Fear of unwanted pregnancies, of guilt and regret. Of things like raising a child alone and unplanned marriage. The best "precaution" you can take is simply refusing to have sex.
You have the right to date those who will not tempt you, but will treat you as a very special person that you are. There is more to relationships than just being physical. Real love evolves slowly. One realizes one is in love when he/she really gets to know the other person's worth and goodness.
You have the right to save yourself for your future husband.This is not merely a right, it's a responsibility! Fornication is still a sin with dreadful consequences. You have the responsibility to keep yourself from that sin, and the right not to be pressured or ridiculed when you do resist temptation. Your sexual self is also a priceless gift you can offer to you future husband, but many people toss it carelessly away, hardly recognizing its worth.
How can you make sure you retain your rights?
In a permissive, sexually oriented society, all kinds of pressures exist. How can they be fought? Through accepting responsibility for the following:
Be Aware. It is a biological fact that a man's sex drive is powerful, and so are your feelings. You are responsible to control it. If you're old enough to date, you're old enough to recognize your own feelings and handle them.
Be Prepared. Don't set yourself up for temptation. Before you even begin dating, establish standards. Spend time in group activities or double-dating instead of hours alone in "romantic" situations. Talk frankly about your feelings and the future - finishing college, dreams, goals - and don't allow yourself to be carried away with flirting. In other words, discover the joy of conversation. Respect your dates and expect them to respect you. Limit the number of dates per week, and the amount of affection you show.
Set your Standards High. Someday you will meet one you want to share your life with. It takes a real man or woman of courage, discipline, and determination to say " Not me, I' m saving myself for someone special". Setting high standards, and looking for a partner who has the same values, will gain you the respect of others. Don't let an early love or infatuation lure you into an experience you'll later wish you had kept for that " happily-ever-after" person.
Be Yourself. Even though we all get tired of the analogy, "Just because your friends jump off a bridge doesn' t mean you have to follow" , there's still a lot of truth in it. When you begin seeing yourself as a special person, one of a kind, unique, you can also begin realizing how much power you have over your life. You can dare stand up for what you believe. You don\rquote t have to feel pressured or coerced.
Dating Do's and Don'ts
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Be date-considerate.
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No pick-ups anywhere except home.
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Have definite date plans.
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No parking
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Dress sensibly
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No cigarettes, pills, liquor or drugs
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Obey Mom and Dads curfew rules.
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No petting.
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Date people you respect.
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No porn in any form.
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Drive safely.
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No prolonged privacy.
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Be honest and trustworthy.
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No to places that invite trouble.
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