Lifeguard Column by Nicolo F. Bernardo
TABOOS on divorce, same-sex marriage, artificial contraception, and premarital sex is often stereotyped as Catholic squeamish. But this oversimplified take overlooks the objections being raised by Eastern faiths as well, which will be the topic of the coming 14th Asia-Pacific Congress on Faith, Life, and Family in Thailand. Buddhists and Hindus will be among the participants and lecturers. The interfaith event could be a strategic stride considering the common goal among religions for strong family ties, an ethic of life, and the natural family.
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If it surprises some that John Paul II, a celibate, had written a lot on the ethics of sex, it should be no less surprising that the Hindu Vatsyayanna, the author of the Kama Sutra, was a life-long celibate and ascetic! Like John Paul, Vatsyayana had noble reasons in mind when he wrote the Kama Sutra, despite the rehashing of modern adaptations. He taught that human sex is different from that of animals and therefore must be elevated through art. Marriage is sacred and its consummation must have its share of rituals. For marriage to last, women should know how to attract their husbands, hence his advices. The text stresses love, as distinct from desire or passion. Hinduism idealizes monogamy, taking the faithful Rama and his chaste Sita as models in the story of Ramayana.
Contraception and abortion are among the few things the Kama Sutra refuses to give recipes. Vatsyayana felt that either procedure disturbs the natural symmetry of reincarnation, death, and rebirth. For this reason too, the Hindus neither allow artificial reproduction by insemination or test-tube baby-making. For them, the only allowed method of family planning is brahmacharya or sexual continence. International Hindu author Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa (Chris Butler) explains that “even sex in marriage is considered illicit if it is engaged in simply for sense gratification and not procreation.” Hindu reformist Mohandas Gandhi thus was known for being a staunch opponent of the Planed Parenthood Federation in India, saying: “How is the suspension of procreation to be brought about? Not by immoral and artificial checks that are resorted to in Europe, but by a life of discipline and self-control…it is a sin to bring forth unwanted children, but…a greater sin to avoid the consequences of one’s own actions.”
Hinduism considers marriage as a sacrament (samkara), just like Catholicism Since marriage was regarded from the time of the Vedas as a form of sacrifice, there is no excuse to dissolve it. The individual has the responsibility to maintain the mutual partnership in the “visible” and “invisible” world. The concept of “soulmates” is strong in Hinduism, where partners must purify together their souls as they are believed to transmigrate into the next life still as a pair. The first act of creation, according to Brihadaranyaka Upanishad, occurred when the primordial seed realized that “he was alone: he did not enjoy: one alone does not enjoy: he desired a second, and became like man and woman in close embrace.” The story echoes the original solitude of Adam in the Bible.
Meanwhile, the Buddhist Dhamma text of Sri Dhammananda defines that “marriage is a bond of partnership for life entered into by a man or a woman.” Marriage is a lifetime bond where divorce and premarital sex are taboo. This explains their low incidences in Buddhist cultures like China, Korea, and Singapore. Divorce is only permitted because of human constraints, “though the necessity would scarcely arise if the Buddha’s injunctions were strictly followed,” says Dhammananda. Marriage is a “an institution created by man for his well-being and happiness…to maintain order and harmony in the process of procreation”
Buddhism maintains that there must be no thought of either man or woman being superior; each is complementary to each other in a partnership of equality. Therefore if a man demands fidelity from the wife, he must be willing to give the same to his partner. The Buddha realized that one of the main causes of man’s downfall is his involvement with other women (parabhava sutta). For Buddhists, birth control is accepted so long as no killing is involved, no akusala kamma, no abortifacient used. But more than this, Buddhists celebrate life. Conception is viewed as an instance of collective karma, indicating a karmic affinity or association between mother, father, and child in countless past lives.
Natural family planning, with its required periods of abstinence, is more in conjunction to the Buddhist way of life. Buddhists are called to refrain from sexual gluttony. According to Elizabeth Abbot in the History of Celibacy, the Buddha “exhorted spouses to be faithful to each other and, at the very least, strives for periods of sexual abstinence.”
In 1996, the Dalai Lama, while accepting people with homosexual tendencies, affirmed Buddhism’s objection to homosexual activities, saying: “A sexual act is deemed proper when the couples use the organs intended for sexual intercourse and nothing else. Homosexuality, whether it is between men or women, is not improper in itself. What is improper is the use of organs already defined as inappropriate for sexual contact.” (Beyond Dogma, 46). The Hindu Jagad Guru opines that homosexual activity has become acceptable today because of the “hedonistic” culture. Homosexuality “eliminates the hassles that come with having sex…such as supporting the wife and children and having responsibilities in married life.” Such a person escapes from the duty of encountering the woman, of bearing and uniting with her.
All these similarity of sentiments with Christianity speaks of a common threshold of values. The culture of life basedon natural law is indeed for every man, woman, and child, regardless of religion, culture, or race. If in the West, family values seem at a lost, we can turn to where the sun rises. This is a strategy conceived by John Paul II during UN conferences on population and the family, but is hardly maintained in national or local levels despite the “commonwealth” of traditions. In this cultural battle, Buddhism and Hinduism may yet offer the prolife movement a new voice, a new face, a new ally.
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