|
|
in celebration of June-Fathers' Month
I grew up looking forward to Mother’s Day in May. My father would remind me and my brothers and sisters to make a greeting card for our mom. But there was no celebration of Father’s Day in June then. It has only been these past two decades that the second Sunday of June is being celebrated as Father’s Day, especially by commercial establishments and the media. Very often, instead of making people more aware children can show appreciation for their fathers; the day is spent in much unnecessary spending due to advertising.
|
With so many conflicting messages on what and how a father should be, it is a wonder how men nowadays can carry on this role without too much anxiety and stress. The campaign for women empowerment, if not clarified and worked out by both men and women in communities, tend to leave the men out of the picture and wondering what is there for them now.
Dr. Keith Krull, a psychologist, writes, “Men who are striving to be more that breadwinners tend to become “second mothers”. What’s needed is for men to find their distinctive role.” I like what he says about the distinctive role of fathers – that they should be “a bridge to the community” with “one foot at home and one in the community”. In this way , the father introduces his children to the larger world outside the family. While we are not here to go against the tide of feminism, as that ideology has some good points, such as the campaign to stopping the use, abuse and subjugation of women, we are certainly not for reversal of roles of fathers and mothers in the home.
Because many families are now changing structure, the father is expected to give more “emotional output”. Sometimes, the father is more present at home with the children than the mother who works till late at tonight or is even out-of-town or out of the country. It is the father who has to attend to the day-to-day needs of the children, listen to their stories about school, friends, and things they see on television. With the exodus of female overseas workers, the fathers are suddenly left to taking care of the home without much preparation.
Where do the fathers learn how to give emotional support” which seems to be more natural to women? This is when the Church could play a significant role. Yes, the parishes have Family and Life Ministries offering pre-marriage counseling, marriage enrichment seminars and individual counseling. But what percent of the parishioners is reached out by these programs if surveys show that only 15% of Catholics go to church.
Every now and then, Archbishop Paciano Aniceto, Chair of the Episcopal Commission on Family and Life, call us to a meeting at the CBCP office, There I meet the heads of marriage and family life organizations – very committed and well-informed leaders of the Church. We listen to each others’ dreams and plans, frustrations and struggle on how to truly reach out to those who need most our services.
The challenge seems to be so vast. We are sometimes stuck with identifying who prioritize. Is it marriage preparation? That means the educating our youth who often confuse love and sex and who are captivated by wrong values from media and peers.
Should we put more attention to the newly married that they learn the skills in responsible and effective parenting and avoid child neglect and abuse? Or should we concentrate now on the older married couples to encourage them to be active in Church and be the new leaders? What about the solo parents who increasing in number? And above all, what about the fathers who can hardly be reached and who refuse to attend meetings and education sessions?
I hope that soon, our people will see the Church as a haven that they can run to when they have problems – that family help desks are set up and there are well-trained volunteer counselors as well as parish staff who know how and where to refer whoever comes to the parish for their emotional, marital, or spiritual needs.
Pro-life Philippines offers training workshops for those who wish to set up Help Desks. This is in the coordination with the CBCP Office on Women, tasked with setting up Diocesan Women’s Desks. Call our Pro-life office at 911-2911 or text me at 0920-945-5494 for more information or to refer cases.
|
|
|
| JOIN MAILING LIST |
 |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| Letters to the Editor |
|
|
|
|
| Letters by Sr. Pilar |
|
|
|
|
| Love Life TV |
|
|
|
| MAGAZINE |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
| HOT TOPICS |
|
|
|
|
|
| ANTI LIFE ISSUES |
|
|
| |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
