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“I promise you that today, you will be with me in Paradise.” (Luke 23:43)
Such words of consolation from Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, to all believers. But to the unbelievers, those are just empty words from a dying criminal.
Fe was an activist, a feminist, and worked as a community organizer in one of the very poor areas of Manila. She was renting a room for her and her seven year old daughter when I first got to know her. I was inviting her to be a staff member of our organization, Pro-life Philippines, in order to teach natural family planning to the couples in her neighborhood. She was highly recommended as an industrious worker and well-liked by the people in that area.
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Fe proved herself to be good worker indeed. But it was only a year after I hired her that I go t to know the story of her past. Fe relates that she grew up in a broken family. So when she reached college, she joined rallies and learned how to drink with the boys since there was no one to come home to or to show her any care. She barely finished her agriculture course, a degree she never used because she had to marry the man who got her pregnant. After the baby was born, they transferred to a nearby province where her husband was working. The baby was only eight months when she got pregnant again. She did not tell her husband her condition. And neither did she tell him her plans to abort. Early morning for three days, she would go to the hilot who would massage her tummy, looking for the head of the baby to crush it. Late afternoon On the third day, she woke up to a pool of blood and a three month old fetus quivering. She was wrapping it up in a handkerchief when her husband arrived. He was fuming with anger, especially when they noticed that it was a baby boy. But all he could do was help her bury it outside their backdoor. That night, she remembers, her husband left the house and returned with a case of beer. She had never seen her husband consume so many. He kept drinking until he was drunk and could no longer cry. On her part, she was happy that it was all over and thought that he ought to be grateful as she was not going to add burden to their meager income anymore. But then, her husband continued to drink every night, refused to make love to her and their relationship really was in shambles. Within two years her husband developed cancer of the pancreas because of drinking, till she had to take him to PGH. He died after four days.
At that time, Fe did not connect her abortion with the death of her husband. She was full of bitterness that he became an alcoholic and was even glad that she had only one child or how would she be able to handle more children now that she is a widow. She transferred back to the slum area in Manila and joined organizations until she was hired as an organizer.
And that is when and where a discovered her – a hardworking person but full of bitterness, anger and harshness. She described those years of her life as hell. It was while we were conducting a pro-life seminar, when she saw a film of the development of the baby from conception to birth that she suddenly slipped out of the lecture room, rushed to her bedroom and cried her heart out. I talked to her later that day and she poured out her story to me. She said she did go to confession several times ever since her abortion but she was never satisfied with the response of the priests. She could never accept the fact that God could ever forgive such a grievous sinner as her. And so her only recourse was to harden herself, smoke heavily and eat heartily (she was severely overweight then) . I accompanied her through a post-abortion healing program for several months. It was when I noticed her sharing he story with teens so they will avoid what she had gone through that I knew she had reached her resurrection.
For several years, Fe served as counselor in the Pro-life Pregnancy Crisis Centers. She was often invited to speak in schools and parishes. Her story touched so many lives and I am sure she has helped to save the lives of hundreds of babies and their mothers from abortion. She has also assisted in the healing of many women and men who have gone through her own experience, thinking that abortion was the answer.
Fe has remarried. A very generous and Church -oriented young man came into her life and although doctors had warned her that she might never be able to have another child because her uterus was so damaged from the abortion, it was indeed a miracle that she gave birth to another baby girl. There is a new aura around her face when you see Fe – a sign of peace and love. Although she admits that life is not perfect, she has found her home.
And home is another word for Paradise or Eden, isn’t it? Paradise was the promise of Jesus to the thief crucified with him on Calvary. Paradise was the original abode of Adam and Eve before they were banished because of their sin of pride. Paradise is also God’s promised to each one of us, promise of his everlasting life, love, happiness and peace.
It is too bad that nowadays, we see bars and places of worldly pleasure named Paradise. That is so far from the truth, so far from how God had intended us to return to. We do have a glimpse of Paradise when we are surrounded by our loved ones, when things seem to be going our way, or when we can truly feel God’s love and presence. How kind of our Father to tease us with a taste of heaven this way. And always waiting, waiting for us to totally surrender ourselves to Him that we might enjoy his grace and glory in the next life.
PRAYER
Almighty Father in Heaven, may I live my life daily as stepping stones towards that Paradise that your Son Jesus Christ has promised to those who love Him. May our Mother Mary who stood at the foot of the cross be my advocate and strength in this valley of tears, that with all the saints I may sing his praises for all eternity. Amen.
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